What is your greatest joy?
I’ve been thinking about this question a lot recently. About what joy means to me. How I personally define it. And how I find it in my daily life. So today I’m talking about finding your joy.
The dictionary definition of joy is a good starting point:
joy
-
1.A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
‘the joy of being alive’
It’s this idea of joy manifesting in the simple act of being alive that really sits with me as a true definition. While Christmas may bring joy, it’s not quite what I mean. I’m not talking about a fleeting and materialistic version of joy. But a deeper, more sustaining kind of happiness and meaning that comes from discovering what it is that makes us feel that joy to be alive. Something not dependent upon the time of year. Something, in fact, that gives us meaning and gratitude for being here, living, every day.
How do you figure out what gives you joy?
I have come to some conclusions about my own joy. And more importantly – how and where I find and manifest that joy. I can be honest with you all – I’m a pretty introverted person. I’m an only child and I never wanted siblings! I can find perfect contentment when I am alone and I get a great deal of pleasure from sitting and writing, or reading, solo. But. (And it’s a big but.) This is balanced with a real desire for connection with people.
When I sit and read a book, I’m totally absorbed in someone’s vision. I can empathise and imagine the lives of those whose stories I am reading, and I feel connected to other experiences than my own. And when I have had enough of alone time, I seek out connections with other people.
I only started noticing this underlying motivation recently. In making my life plan, reviewing last year, and planning for the coming year, I have noticed patterns. My tendency is to seek ways to connect with people, through my imagination, my work, my communication skills. But not just to talk about the weather. It’s about making a meaningful connection, with give and take, where I learn, and I share, and I feel that both of us walk away with something valuable. Even if it is only a smile.
Can you find joy at work?
My job in a library is customer service based, supporting the community with everything from registering their baby’s birth to making applications to university, starting a business to finding that perfect novel to take on holiday. As a manager, my role is to run the whole show. What I’ve focused on, and what has been successful, is my team. All of the people who work with me are my priority.
When I took on the role I was anxious and low, the morale in the whole team was at rock bottom and honestly I think we all dreaded coming into work. The stress was high and frankly it felt like no-one further up the food chain cared. Even with my new promotion I was a tiny cog in a big, bureaucratic machine. I couldn’t change the system, the demands on the team, or the way seniors thought about our service. What I could do was be authentically myself, as a manager. And being authentically myself meant making connections with my whole team in my new role. Recasting our existing relationships into the new dynamic, and finding ways that we could all find some joy in our working day.
I find joy in knowing that the people I work with are happy to come to work with me. I find joy knowing that because my team feel good, they give incredible customer service to our customers. Our service users are often incredibly vulnerable, and this customer service can genuinely be life changing. Even on horrible days, this knowledge sustains me through the stress. I can find some joy in my day.
How do you make it part of your life?
Now that I have clarified with myself what brings me joy, I have started examining how I can incorporate it into every day of my life. My work fulfils me on one level. And this blog is fulfilling me on a whole new level. The idea of sharing my ideas, advice, wisdom and mishaps with you all in a genuine way delights me – we can each connect through this amazing medium. I have found so much joy myself in reading other people’s blogs, realising we have things in common, learning new things and reflecting on my own knowledge and experiences. This medium of blogging is so personal, I’m putting out my own life to reach you my lovely. Another person, maybe in another country, who has connected with me through this shared search for a beautiful and fulfilling life.
Part of my plan for this year is to open myself to more connections. To embrace new friendships and balance out my introverted nature with the joy I find in sharing with others. This blog and all of the social media interactions that come with it have already introduced me to some wonderful people. I have committed to making plans further in advance than a day or two (I know, I know) so that I can make sure I see my friends and family for more than just a coffee. Making the time and space and embracing that walk in the park with my baby cousin will give me joy in the moment, and in years to come when I reflect on the connection we grew that day.
Having realised the key to my joy, I am committed to pursuing it. I want every day of my life to give me joy. And you probably do too. I can’t think of anyone who would be happy knowing what brings them joy but never pursuing it. The brilliant thing about this deep joy, this joy disconnected from objects, is that you can touch it even on bad days.
Finding your joy.
What I hope for most, is that you find your own joy. And the only way to do that is to reflect. Talk to your loved ones, friends and family, and ask for their perspective. Sometimes we can’t see for ourselves the underlying motivation for our actions – and an outside view can pinpoint them easily!
I have put together some simple questions below. You can think about them, journal about them, meditate on them, and discuss them with your friends and family. Whatever method works for you, tracking down your joyful motivation is key to developing its source in your life.
1.Figure our your definition of meaningful joy. It doesn’t have to be the one in the dictionary, it doesn’t have to be the same way I defined it. The beautiful thing is that we are all different, and finding your definition is the beginning of your journey to finding your joy.
2. Once you have pinned down a definition for yourself, take some time to reflect on what gives you that feeling of joy. You might think of particular people, activities, or thoughts that provoke that feeling – look deeper and analyse these responses. What do they have in common? What is the underlying act or thought? That is what brings your joy.
3.Investigate when, how, and how often you are experiencing that feeling of meaningful joy right now in your life. At work, at home, with your friends and loved ones, with yourself in the quiet moments. Be honest with yourself.
4.Once you have established your current levels of joy – make a plan to incorporate more of the things that bring you that feeling into your life! Whether it’s a new class, committing to seeing loved ones more often, or even a career change – the sky is the limit.
Final thoughts;
Uncovering this notion of meaningful joy, and reflecting on how and when I find it in my life, has been a really transformative process. Becoming more aware of what gives us joy means that we can embrace our lives and really pursue the things that bring us that feeling. And that is what is important. Because when you are finding meaningful joy in your every day life, you can find yourself on firm footing whenever stress or difficulties hit you.
You don’t have to wait for a holiday, or a gift, or a new pair of shoes to make you feel better. You are digging in to a deeper reserve, something that can course through you even when you are feeling low. Meaningful joy can move you through hard times, and give you islands of peace throughout your day where you feel that deep contentment and satisfaction.
I would love to hear your thoughts about joy, about finding meaningful joy, and how you get on with my 4 questions. Here’s to a joyful year!
Sign up below for joyful love notes every fortnight. Full of inspiration, information, and good vibes. No nonsense.
Photo by John-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash
